was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
