actually, I'm a sock model
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize