Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
