I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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