i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
