k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize