hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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