Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
