Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
