I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
