dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Sext me about skeletons
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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