I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
