It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
