the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
