i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
