listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
True strength comes from lack of pants
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
