wakey wakey hands off snakey
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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