You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
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I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
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You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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