So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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