the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
