The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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