Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
