Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
