Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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