I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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