i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Mom said you looked used
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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