The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
