I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize