i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
