WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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