i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
