No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
