As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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