I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
