Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My balls are so social today.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize