here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
