I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
