you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
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