She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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