I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
