if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
