the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize