Don't you send me to vm
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
