im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
