if you like me you must not know who I am
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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