I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
