It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Please, let me fuck your mom
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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