My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
