Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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