Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
