could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website