why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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