can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
