it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
