he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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