some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
