Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
