She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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