the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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