Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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