if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
